All Entries Tagged With: "comedy"
Germans Deny SBC Märzen Gold World Beer Cup Win
Springfield, MO – Following an unprecedented victory in Denver, Colorado where the Springfield Brewing Company took the International Gold World Beer Cup in the Märzen category over several rival brewers, German participants are officially denying any such victory ever happened. The Springfield Brewing Company team went up against storied breweries who have a combined brewing […]
Mike the Intern
May is here. Finals are coming up, the kids are getting ready to get out of school and you are wondering why in the hell you don’t get a summer vacation like everyone else. Well you might not get a vaca but I can help you start one hell of a summer soundtrack. Bryan Adams […]
“Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason
Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot […]
Crossfit…
Well, I have been gone for a while but I’m back. I have been training for the upcoming summer season. Its that time of year in which you have to get ready for the lake or pool and you want to appear fit. There are a number of ways to do so as we are […]
Caged People Fed By Animals
Strafford, MO – Organizers at Wild Animal Safari have announced a new tour that encourages patrons to sit in a cage and be fed by the wild animals on site. The change is in response to the USDA ruling that visitors to the park may no longer fed animals from their vehicles. “We strive to […]
KC Chimps Escape Highway Shooter
Kansas City, MO – Seven chimpanzees attempted to escape the area to avoid random shootings that have been plaguing the area for several weeks. The chimps successfully used a tree limp to escape the Kansas City Zoo, but were apprehended with food and the promise of improved security. “The chimps have a valid point. I […]
St. Louis Arch Adds McDonalds To Observatory
Springfield, MO – Local McDonald’s franchisee Dom Kittles announced that his company secured the rights to place a restaurant in the top of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch and plans to open this summer. The contract came as a surprise to Kittles who considered his business as a longshot for the opportunity. “The news was great, […]
Diverging Diamond Necklace Unveiled at Justice Jewelers
Springfield, MO – Responding to consumers’ demand, and nodding to the unique traffic solutions employed around town, a local jeweler has recently unveiled the Diverging Diamond Necklace. The necklace pays homage to the diverging diamonds found in several Ozarks intersections. “We wanted to celebrate a traffic win for our area. We were the first to […]
Downtown Businesses Expected to Open Secondary Shops in Farmer’s Park
Springfield, MO – According to city code 34.356987, all downtown businesses are now required to open a second location at the new Farmer’s Park. While several businesses have complied with the new regulation others are more reluctant to make the investment. cheap cialis from canada You do not have to go through erectile dysfunction. The […]
Cox South Bungee Jumping Therapy Heals with Thrills
Springfield, MO – Results are coming back positive from an experimental therapy involving a bungee jump at a Southside hospital. Cox South has been treating patients with their Bungee Jump Health Towers installation for the past few months and has experienced impressive recovery rates. “We are always looking for new ways to treat our patients,” […]
Meek’s to Open Downtown Gown and Lumber Boutique
Springfield, MO – An unlikely business has jumped on board the downtown renovation momentum. Meek’s has opened Meek’s Gown and Lumber Boutique on the northeast corner of South and Walnut. Meek’s VP of regional development, Andy Walser, acknowledged that it was a unique choice saying, “It will be the first of its kind anywhere in […]
College Station Gravel Museum Celebrates Seven Year Anniversary
Springfield, MO – Touted as one of the premiere gravel museums in the world, College Station Gravel Museum in downtown Springfield, plans to celebrate tonight with an open house free to the public. “It’s hard to imagine that it has been seven years,” says curator, Scott Fillmen. “When we opened back in 2007 our goal […]
Ozarkers Thankful for Endless Winter
Springfield, MO – Residents had reason to celebrate yet another winter storm this week as thundersleet, snow and freezing temperatures blanketed the Ozarks. Locals had feared that another winter weather pattern wouldn’t been seen until next year but those fears were relieved when the old man winter crapped out another round of shitty weather. “I […]
LEGO® Releases Hammons Tower Set
Springfield, MO – Designed by a LEGO fan, the new LEGO Hammons Tower (77053) will be available for purchase this spring. Creator Matt Plither, a Springfield native, submitted the design to LEGO CUUSOO, a site where LEGO designers can submit projects, gains supporters and receive royalties if a product concept is chosen for production. Plither’s […]
Group Fart Propels SGF Into the Future
Springfield, MO – The entire population of our fair city was thrust forward into time this weekend after hundreds of people trouser coughed at once while at the 33rd Sertoma Chili Cook Off at the EXPO Center. The consolidated butt honk lurched the entire city into the future by 2.5 seconds. “It was very stange…one […]
