All Entries Tagged With: "Parking"
Mobile Car Compactor Solves MSU Parking Problem
Springfield, MO – Missouri State University officials acknowledged campus parking has been causing extra challenges this fall, because of more students and new construction so they have implemented a plan to bring in a mobile car compactor to help alleviate parking congestion. “When I hear a complaint that says there is no where to park, […]
“Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason
Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot […]
Start-Button Black Hole Discovered In Parking Lot
Springfield, MO – Hundreds of start-button automobile owners are falling victim to the electronic black hole situated miles beneath the parking lot at James River Town Center, a shopping destination on East Independence Street. “We pulled in, parked and shopped at Kohl’s for about 40 minutes. When we came out our new car wouldn’t start. […]
Handicap Signage Promotes Racism
Springfield, MO – A painted parking spot elicited racist emotions on the south side of the queen city after a short shopping spree at the Walmarts. A large white handicap image can be clearly seen crushing the head of a black handicapped image. “What the f*ck is that!?” said George Tillawhack, as he walked by […]
Tindle Mills Demolition Smells Familiar
Springfield, MO—A local dog food factory’s destruction is releasing a nasty fragrance not experienced since the operation was producing smelly dog food. Tindle Mills was known regionally for emitting a foul sulfur odor while in production, a smell now revived by the buildings’ demise. “Once we started tearing down that tower it released a gaseous […]
Snowplow Driver Creates Snow Maze
Springfield, MO—Kyle Hertz, a local snowplow driver for the City of Springfield created the area’s coolest snow maze out of boredom yesterday in the Battlefield Mall parking lot. Hertz was credit with the artistic, mind-challenging creation after several hours of work and tedious snow plowing. According to sources, Hertz was seen plowing excess snow into […]
