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The Zodiac Sells Out

SPRINGFIELD, MO—The earth’s alignment has changed and so have the dates assigned to zodiac signs. “We’ve known about this for awhile,” admitted Parke Funkle, official spokesperson for the American Coalition of Astrologers (ACA) and vice president of Dudes with Weird Names (DWN). “It was time for a change, horoscopes just weren’t selling like they used […]