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Farmers Black Markets Corrupt Springfield Commerce

Springfield—Economic pressures continue to create new markets in the Ozarks for goods and services not easily acquired. Recently, crowds of shoppers are rumored to be attending farmers black markets popping up around the city.

These dens of phantom trades promote sellers ready to move illegal goods. Amish who peddle copyrighted digital materials, local farmers with boxes of organic fuel and craftsmen and women who bring weaponry all intend to sell to the demanding underground consumer.

The best-known farmers black market is located in the northeast corner of the Battlefield Mall parking lot. Every Saturday from 8-12 commerce turns corrupt as several booths sell illegal drugs and tax-free alcohol among other unsavory products.

Lt. Kirk Manlove says the Springfield Police Department is investigating the suspicious exotic meat booth that is allegedly fronting for an illegal immigrant transportation service and a well-known prostitution ring. The flower lady runs a side cocaine business.

“I go to the market because they have fresh ‘produce’ that’s it,” said an unidentified buyer who shuffled through the crowds with a brown paper bag under one arm.

Markets thrive on Commercial Street, in other communities and soon to be downtown Springfield on Friday nights. Unsavory and dangerous, these markets should be avoided unless you need some stolen gear on the sly.

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  1. pancreas says:

    This is one of those stories that is undoubtedly more true than it is false. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you get attention for it from someone who takes it seriously. I’m not willing to bet much, but if it happens, you owe me a box of instant oat meal (I like the fruit n’ cream variety pack).

  2. Fair City News says:

    It is on! I am an apples and cinnamon man.

  3. pancreas says:

    What’s our deadline? Have you received any attention from people who think it’s real? If not, I shall buy you that box of oatmeal…

  4. Fair City News says:

    You’ve seen it all right here. No other feedback or input. Looks like I could be one box of oatmeal richer very soon. Nom-nom-nom.