Land Grab at Battlefield Fireworks Celebration

Springfield, MO—Local Springfield and Nixa residents plan to attend the Battlefield, Missouri’s firework celebration this year completely crashing the party.

Springfield’s Firefall, the annual firework celebration, was cancelled after the City cut its contribution to the Springfield-Greene County Parks Department because of a decline in sales tax revenue. Now, Nixa also won’t have its annual fireworks show after the city lost its biggest source of employment — the construction industry.

Ultimately, Nixa’s Chamber of Commerce decided the party would best be enjoyed elsewhere. “Hey, everybody, this year we’re going to crash the show in Battlefield. We all show up and then we rush the gates if they try to prevent us from entering. I’ve got room in my trunk for three more people!” said Sharon Whitehill Gray, president of Nixa’s Chamber of Commerce.

60,000 to 70,000 additional people could attend the annual pre-Independence Day celebration at the City of Battlefield’s Fireworks Festival on 7/4. The event—starts at 5 PM with food vendors, inflatable games and music, fireworks at about 9:45—is a celebration of freedom. However, Battlefield officials urge resident to “stay at home and watch the greatest fireworks show in Greene County”.

Unconfirmed rumors cite Battlefield officials as telling non-residents that the show will be at the Battlefield Mall to reduce traffic and confuse would-be crashers. “Americans have a long and storied tradition of taking over other people’s land without their permission,” stated local resident and firework lover Gail Hoober. “They better get ready for the land rush of ’09 cause I’m bringing my folding chair and a pack of Virginia Slims to celebrate my freedom.”

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