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McCaskill Forum Solves Healthcare Issues


Springfield, MO—During a town hall meeting in downtown Springfield, Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill solved a proposed government-run health insurance plan with the help of well-spoken, vocal citizens at the historic Gilloiz theater.

“I came to the conclusion that we could offer a program that would satisfy the needs of everyone in attendance. I cannot wait to share these findings with Washington and President Obama,” said McCaskill.

Would-be heckler Alan Herbs said, “I was coming into this meeting with a lot of anger, but listening to her really made a lot of sense. I was completely satisfied with her ability to use reason and logic to problem solve her way into a solution that solves the needs of all American citizens.”

All who attended the meeting were well mannered and respectful of others’ views. Those wishing to speak during the discussion politely raised their hands and when called upon spoke eloquently with rhetoric befitting the Greek philosopher Aristotle.

Fred Micher, local drunk and long-time town idiot said, “using oratory as the medium through which political and judicial decisions are made, and through which philosophical ideas are developed and disseminated is essential to the discovery of truths, because it provides the means of ordering and clarifying arguments.”

The meeting ended 30-minutes early and McCaskill instructed her staff to order pizza for those who remained in the crowd, as her new healthcare plan will not contribute to the mounting national debt. “We’re saving trillions of dollars on the plan we hatched tonight. We deserve to celebrate,” she said with a smile.

Afterwards, McCaskill went down the street to Icon Nightclub to dance the night away with several euphoric town hall meeting attendees.

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  1. Pancreas says:

    I was at the meeting and can testify that it went exactly as described–great summary.