Springfield, MO—Protecting the innocent and shielding others from danger is the job of the G-Team. Fashioned after the original cast of military misfits that formed the A-Team—made popular by the 80’s television action show—the G-Team provides protection for Springfieldians but removed a few times from the original soldiers of fortune. “They’re the G-Team because they’re about 6-times removed from the A-Team. Worse than B, C, D, E, and F-Teams,” said Greene County assistant prosecutor Joel McDougal.
The G-Team travels the Ozarks in their red, gold and brown van solving petty crimes and low-to-no-interest acts of misdeeds such as property damage. Team leader Bannible says, “we caught some kids the other day skateboarding where they shouldn’t have been. We made sure they apologized to the property owners and moved along.” Then while a poorly written theme song played from his iPod he waxed, “I love it when a course of action collides!”
Member of the G-Team reportedly consists of ex-Guardian Angles who once roamed the downtown area wearing berets and include a Swisher Sweet chewing Bannible, Unpleasant Attitude or “U.A.”, Murderrock, and Facial. Several local celebrities have helped the G-Team, whose plans tend to be unorthodox yet effective, along the way including John Q. Hammons, Brad Pitt, Yakov Smirnoff and the Ozark Mountain Daredevils among others.
During each fiasco, the G-Team is aided by an unidentified female KY3 reporter and fashion weapons from household items that never kill and rarely seriously injure the perpetrators they defeat.
Filed Under: Crime