Doctor Collects Lightning for Experiments at Shrine Mosque

Dr. Fran Kenstine collects lightning for science experiments

Springfield, MO—Local physician Dr. Fran Kenstine has located his new practice in the basement of the Shrine Mosque and has yet to announce formal office hours or accept any patients. In fact, no one has been seen coming or going from the clinic since it opened earlier this month.

“I think he must be working on a high tech radiation treatment as the electricity in the building seems to shudder. Especially late at night,” said Todd Jones a bartender who travels to work in downtown Springfield. “After the bar closes I usually drive down St. Louis street on my way home and his lights are always on and strange sparks can be seen lighting up the block.”

Cox Health Systems, his former employer, released a statement saying Dr. Kenstine was “obsessed with studying outdated theories of science that focus on achieving natural wonders inconsistent with our patient care vision statement.”

Dr. Kenstine attend college in Ingolstadt, Germany where he excelled at chemistry and other sciences and claimed to imbue the inanimate plants with life, in part by studying how vegetation decays.

Reportedly, sad melodies played on a violin have been heard coming from the basement in the middle of the night accompanied by the occasional “RAAAAAAAA!” and “MMMMMMM”.

Dr. Kenstine released a statement saying he plans to host an open house October 31st and welcomes all interested parties to stop by, but asks that all pocket lighters, matches and candles be left at home as his special exhibit does not respond well with fire.

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