Missouri Highway To Be Renamed After Other Famous Liar

Road crews work to secure highway name for older, more creative liar

Jefferson City, MO—Mark McGwire highway could be renamed after another famous Missourian who told tall tales and spun a web of lies to achieve fame and fortune; Mark Twain.

“Why do we always got to name a highway after someone who isn’t exactly telling the truth?” pondered one Springfield native as he placed a brown paper bag over a parking meter.

Supporter Tom Richards said, “Technically, the stories Mark Twain wrote were classified as fiction. They were works of art. Sure McGwire took creative license with his description of performance enhancing substances, but it is not the same. One lie was told to cover up illegal drug use, Mark Twain was simply entertaining…us…with…his…lies. Hey, maybe the do share some similarities after all. McGwire’s home run chase was very exciting!”

Those opposed to the renaming say that naming a highway after a man is fine, but they’d prefer the use of Mark Twain’s real name Samuel Clemens.  “Why do we have to perpetuate another lie by naming our roadway after a man who lied about his own name?” said Shirley Dibbles. “It just seems as if we’re sending the wrong message.”

“I’m here to talk about the past and to read lies written from the past,” said George Henning, a supporter for the renaming effort.

The Missouri senate in a unanimous vote recently approved going from the lies of the great American pastime to the lies of the Great American Novelist. Other proposed names for the stretch of Interstate 70 included “Liar’s Highway”, “Prevaricator Parkway”, and “Missourians Named Mark Who Profit From Lies Lane”.

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