Commuter Drives Speed Limit

Considerate driver irks motorists with his lawfulness

Springfield, MO—Local commuter Keith Jonas was seen making a statement to the Springfield community at large. And that statement was “I’m driving the speed limit”. Many interpreted that statement to be the equivalent of a giant middle finger, since it is an unwritten law that you are expected to be going 10-35 mph over the limit in the greater Metro area, especially in construction zones.

“I don’t know what that guys problem is,” vented one teen motorist as she was texting her frustrations while driving 73mph southbound on Glenstone, “OMG, what a jerk. LOL!”

It would appear that Jonas’ experiment was appreciated by one group: senior citizens. Many seniors interviewed said they applauded his efforts to bring a little civility back to roadways.

“It’s about law and order. It’s about respect. It’s about keeping your left turn signal on as a deterrent to speeding” declared Jim Burton, 79, when asked. His only complaint was that Mr. Jonas was still “going a little fast” while operating his vehicle. Burton’s preference? “26 miles per hour. There’s no need to go any faster than that anywhere in this fine city.”

Mr. Jonas’ actions also have local traffic enforcement officers baffled. “Who does he think he is? Is this some sort of joke?” asked Officer Markus Phillips as he scrolled down his computer screen, looking up possible violations for following the speed limit. “Those signs are more like suggestions rather than hard-and-fast laws. We don’t need any more wiseacres in this town. He better get with the program.”

Mr. Jonas could not be reached for comment, since he refused to answer his cell phone while driving, yet another act of defiance against the social norms.

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