AREA MAN DISCOVERS “CASHEW CHICKEN” IS JUST FRIED CHICKEN IN OYSTER GRAVY
FairCityNews.com | Sep 13, 2010 | Comments 0
Man realizes secret to Cashew Chicken
Springfield, MO – “I’m just beside myself” declares area high school football coach Grant Llewellyn. “I grew up here in Springfield and I’ve always been led to believe that cashew chicken is a rare and incredibly exotic dish that one could only have prepared by highly trained and secretive master chefs of The Ozarks. This just sucks.”
The discovery came about when Mr. Llewellyn tried to impress some out of town guests by taking them to the Yummy Panda Tiger Bowl and insisting that they order the local specialty – “Special Fancy Combo #1″. “I told them, make sure you request ‘all-white’ meat, since everyone around here knows that if you don’t, you’ll end up with cat on your plate.” When the order arrived at the table of honor, Mr. Llewellyn’s guests inquired as to what made the meal so special. “It got me to thinking, well….you have your chicken, of course, then there’s them fancy onions AND the cashew nuts on top. And of course, the cashew sauce.”
His guests were not as impressed as he would have hoped, and this upset Coach Llewellyn, who proceeded to conduct some serious research: he went to Wikipedia. “Imagine my surprise when I found out that our most heralded cuisine is little more than fried chicken in oyster gravy. I was devastated. So crushed, in fact, I took a personal day, and our football team had to forfeit the game that night.”
The only way that the coach has been able to console himself is with the knowledge that there certainly IS one dish locals can be proud to call their own: Sweet & Sour Chicken. “I’d like to see those fancy out-of-towners try and debunk THAT one!” Mr. Llewellyn said as he hitched his belt up over his stomach and marched out to the practice field.
Filed Under: Food
