Billy Long Cardboard Cutout Agrees to Debate

A cardboard cutout will debate this November

Springfield MO -  After weeks of negotiations between the seventh congressional candidates, Billy Long has agreed to a question and answer session between himself and his democratic opponent Scott Eckersly.  The date for the event is scheduled for November 1st, one day before the election.  According to the terms of the debate, sources have indicated that Billy Long won’t even make an appearance.  Instead a “live” Billy Long cardboard cutout of the candidate will be in place with a balloon caption reading ‘I’M FED UP!”.
“To be quite honest,” commented Long, “I thought the August primary was the election,”  Long further added, ” The people in the seventh district know where I stand and that is being FED UP.  Since this is not a real debate that would allow boring rebuttals that no one would listen to anyway it would be a waste of time to show up.  My answer for anything is I’M FED UP.”
Long maintains that questions such as, “How do you feel about corporate bail outs, illegal immigration, health care the Obama and Pelosi agenda?” can all be answered by the answer “I’M FED UP!”  This reflects the thinking in southwest Missouri and being FED UP is what the people want confirmed his campaign manager.

“The bottom line is November 3rd I will be moving to Washington D.C.. The people in southwest Missouri will see me on C-SPAN when they cover Congress.  I will be the one wearing the cowboy hat.  Now when was the last time common sense folks elected someone with a cowboy hat?  It has been a quite a while since that happened,” said Long.

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