Bass Pro Opens Bass Amateur

The new Bass Amateur logo features a cute lil' fishie

Springfield, MO – According to sources, Bass Pro shops has opened a pilot store in town targeting those who are not quite comfortable with their outdoor skills. Bass Amateur, or BassAm, is located on N. Campbell Avenue, next to the existing store.

“BassAm is comfortable to me because I don’t have to pretend I know what grain of ammunition to buy,” said Grover Milford, a local gardener and first time deer hunter. “I’d be embarrassed to ask for help at Bass Pro, I just don’t think my hunting skills are up to par with everyone else who shops there,” said Milford, “someday I’ll be able to go there and confidently purchase the correct jig bait, or whatever. I’m just not ready for the ‘big show’ yet.”

A press release said BPS’ BassAm is much like a triple-A club for outdoors people who are looking to hone their shopping skills in the world of adventure gear. BassAm will offer classes in selecting appropriate camouflage, loading a BB gun, and roasting s’mores over a campfire among other topics.

Professor Louis Freihof, Outdoor Purchasing Department said, “Studies show that most people who are currently not enjoying the outdoors do so out of fear of rejection. I believe that BassAm will be an easy access point for people who are interested in learning more about what the wilderness can offer, without revealing their incredible ignorance.”

The store’s grand opening has enjoyed a steady crowd of curious, but cautious visitors. About 12 people have expressed disappointment that BassAm was not selling a Bass Tracker Boat with t-tops and a giant eagle emblazoned on the hull of the boat.

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