Gillioz Bankruptcy Boosts Ticket Sales

Gillioz finds success with Annual Farewell Tour has customers lined up outside the ticket booth

Springfield, MO—According to sources, the “going out of business” hype surrounding the Gillioz Theatre has been the best PR any business could hope to have. From the time the original loans were called in to the announcement of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, ticket sales have been rapidly rising.

“When I heard the theatre might be going under I went out and bought my entire family tickets for Ralphie May. I don’t really know who he is, but I do want to see the Gillioz one last time,” said long-time Springfield resident Joe Hockerslyfern.

Apparently, the fear that the beloved performance house will be no more is inspiring a renewed interest in the landmark building. Near death experiences have often rekindled a vigor for realities taken for granted.

“The final McRib Tour always gets me into McDonald’s. I always think that this time will be the last time for me to eat that wonderfully processed pork,” said Noran Grisslechewer, “I think the Gillioz should threaten to go out of business every year to keep the ticket sales rolling in.”

According to a press release, the theatre believes, “We are an entertainment venue, and we have seen evidence that entertainers who die enjoy great success in the afterlife. Elvis, Tupac, even Michael Jackson have all benefitted by ceasing to exist. That’s what we’re hoping for, that the theatre can die, enjoy great success and then come back to life as some sort of profitable theatre zombie.”

Efforts to reach out to Former Governor Matt Blunt to forgive the theatre’s loans, as he did for Peter Kinder, are ongoing. Until further notice, patrons are encouraged to purchase tickets to the theatre’s upcoming events found here.

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