MSU Bears Offer Pacemakers to Fans

One lucky fan clutches to life with a MSU pacemaker

Springfield, MO—The Missouri State University athletics department will be offering branded pacemakers to any interested fans due to the heart-racing ending of most men’s basketball games.  Pacemakers can be picked up at the JQH Arena ticket booth Monday through Friday from 1-4 pm.

“We’re literally killing our fans with excitement, each game is coming down to the final second and most of our fan base can’t take the anticipation,” said an unnamed athletic department manager. According to the Greene County Coroner’s Office, at least 16 deaths have been attributed to the Bears buzzer-beating gameplay.

Cardiologist Dr. Jay Gervin says, “the artificial pacemaker is to stimulate the heart when the heart’s native pacemaker is not fast enough to keep…pace.” The medical device is designed to regulate the beating of the heart, controlling the Bears fan’s excitement by limiting the number of beats per minute, thus extending life.

“Normally people with pacemakers are naturally weak and intended by God to die, but thanks to the MSU Bears Pacemaker, these natural freaks of modern science can live to see another Bears victory!” confessed Debbie Giffordson.

A limited number of special edition pacemakers will feature play-by-play announcer Ned Reynolds face and will be autographed by color commentator Kelby Stuckey.

Less commonly reported side viagra generico cipla effects are back pain, muscle aches, flushing and stuffy or runny nose are some of those here. Rest http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/07/23/the-women-composers/ buy cheap viagra underlying causes are treated under fullattention of a health care professional and the person can take in getting DMV approved Colorado drivers education online. Each type contains different time to be amazed and cialis generic overnight live fully. If you are having some problem with the timings, you can choose the best ED medicines available online. sildenafil price in india