Springfield, MO—Local attorney Newsome Higsby has moved his law practice into a former fortuneteller’s office on Glenstone and St. Louis Street in Springberg, hoping to glean some otherworldly help in his caseload.
Higsby said, “The space has a special aura about it. I think that most defendants would appreciate help from beyond the grave, and assistance from knowing what the future holds.”
The former tenant, GetYer Palm Read owner, Ubithe Miller said, “I knew my efforts were coming to an end. It was time to pass my crystal ball off to someone who could do some good with it.”
According to sources, at least 4 cases to date have benefitted from the fortune-telling attorney. “Yeah, ol’ Higsby told me that the jury would find me guilty of fraud, so I pleaded guilty, took a deal and had 5 years taken off my sentence,” said John Sheehan, the King of Bling.
Higsby said, “Yes, it is a bit unorthodox to bring a crystal ball into the court room, but I can now tell the guilty from the innocent just by looking at the lines in the palms of a person’s hands. They don’t teach you that in law school.”
A colleague of Higsby’s claimed that tea leaves and tarot cards were not usually admitted as evidence, but they could soon be seen as valuable assets in determining future disputes.
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