Bungholes Targeted in Springfield Area

Another Bunghole removed from city streets

Springfield, MO—According to John Millerstone, Springfield motorists have been tasked with reporting bungholes to the city to aid in the clean up of the Bunghole Patrol. “Yeah, I just heard it on the radio. They need help cleaning up the city streets and getting rid of all the bungholes in our community,” said Millerstone, “I think that is long overdue.”

Apparently, having thousands of drivers reporting bungholes is much more effective that relying on the few members of the Bunghole Patrol. “It is a problem that I would like to see addressed in my neighborhood, there’s always some bunghole in the streets” said Rosie Conan, a longtime Springfield resident.

Reportedly, Millerstone heard that the public works department says that troublesome bungholes have been plaguing the city since the ice and snow have started melting.  He pontificated, “That makes sense that the bungholes would come out now that the weather is nicer.” The number of bungholes on city streets is unknown, yet some bungholes will be easier to address than others.

Dr. Harmony Gillsteen, a behavioral psychologist, says that the city’s bungholes are signs of deeper problems caused by social erosion and lack of father figures in the lives of our youth. “Usually minor bungholes are addressed with temporary fixes; major bungholes are introduced to longer-lasting repairs over the span of their existence,” said Dr. Gillsteen.

Motorist have been hitting bungholes daily says Millerstone, and some drivers even stop after hitting a few bungholes to check for damage to their vehicles. “I heard that the city has more issues than just your average bunghole, but we need to rehabilitate the area,” says Millerstone.

To report an itchy banjo, or bunghole to the city, Millerstone says you call the Bunghole hotline at 864-1966. To fill out a service request form at any time online, click on the “Bunghole?” graphic on the left column of the city’s homepage at www.springfieldmo.gov.

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