METH HEADS RALLY AGAINST COCAINE DEALERS

Coke dealer surprised at uprising

Springfield MO.-    The recent arrest of area cocaine dealers has gain support from an unlikely source.  Nick Wethead, president of the Ozarks Meth Men has proposed that profiling be encouraged to rid the town of anyone that has the possibility of using cocaine instead of locally produced meth.

“There is meth to our madness.”, commented Wethead.  “First of all cocaine has to come from outside this country.  That alone means another American habit is lost to foreigners.  We have the best cold medicine, lawn fertilizer and drain cleaner made right here in this country.  When all of that is cooked properly, we can stay awake with any coke head out there.”

If you do not know if someone might use cocaine, there are a few sure fire signs to look for.  According to Wethead if you see the following signs be sure and contact your local DEA official.

1. CLOTHING-  All cocaine users have new clothes.  Users wear designer or name brand clothing.  The clothes are also clean with no rips or holes in them.
2. EMPLOYMENT-  All cocaine users have jobs.  It doesn’t matter if they are white or blue collar jobs.  The jobs must pay at least $90,000. a year.
3. VEHICLES-  All cocaine users have cars.  These are always late model or foreign made cars.  These cars are driven without dents or scratches.
4. RESIDENCE-  All cocaine users have a house.  The more expensive, the more likely it belongs to a cocaine user.  Coke heads are never seen in a trailer or an abandoned house in the country.
5. MONEY-  All cocaine users have money.  Cocaine users buy things.  They do not steal to support their habit.  If you see someone at the store using cash or a credit card, that person is probably a cocaine user.
6. PERSONAL HYGIENE-  All cocaine users shower everyday and are well groomed.  Also look at teeth.  If someone has all of their teeth, they are most likely a cocaine user.

Wethead had the following afterthoughts.  “If we don’t get involved labeling people that might use cocaine, the title of Missouri being the nations number one producer of meth will be gone.  Once that is gone we will never get it back.  I hope people remember this.”

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