Local Man Tries Too Hard on April Fools’ Day

Local man tries to be funny, fails

Springfield, MO—Larry Hardy has successfully irritated everyone he came in contact with this first day of April by hoaxing, joking and generally displaying poor taste. His hijinks included a myriad of lies, outrageous claims and semi-serious statements to evoke a small bit of laughter to sooth his self-righteous sense of comedy.

“I saw Larry in the coffee shop this morning and he told me that 2 Japanese Nuclear plants had exploded. I was shocked, then he said ‘April Fools!’ and I gave him a smirk. It wasn’t funny,” said Neil Jammerson a regular customer at the Dancing Mule Coffee House.

Hardy reportedly told coworkers that he was dying of cancer, was losing a leg to frostbite, had been transferred to Sedalia and once had an alien abduction, each story was quickly followed up with a loud condescending-laced “April Fools!”

“He’s not funny, in fact I wish he would move to Sedalia,” said Rachel Flaggery one of Hardy’s coworkers after she shook his buzzer-filled hand. “He told me my brother was being released from jail and that I should go down to pick him up. When I got there the officers said there must have been a mistake,” said Flaggery.

Apparently Hardy’s amusement backfired when he needed help starting his car after lunch. He called several friends and acquaintances that he had pranked earlier in the day asking for help. However, no one came to his aid. “What, does nobody have a sense of humor these days?” claimed Hardy.

He then walked to a gas station where he told the attendant that he had a gun while brandishing his finger in his coat pocket. As of last report Hardy was located in Flaggery’s brothers jail cell.

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