National Bubba Day Sparks Riot at Walmart


Greeters stand guard awaiting National Bubba Day

Springfield Mo- As we all know June 2nd is the national celebration of Bubba day.  Beet Farmers, Cattle Handlers, and other Bumpkins take the day off to remember loved ones and embrace the traditional family name that started right here in the Ozarks. The holiday started in 1862 by co-founders Bubba Jenkins and Bubba Jones, both sheep farmers in Boaz, Missouri. Our archives reveal that the Bubba Jenkins was quoted as saying, “Us Bubba’s needs a day off to celimubrate the heritage of our family’s name. Aint no better way than have a whole day desiccated to us Bubba’s.”

The problem started in the ladies sanitary isle at Wal-Mart on Kansas Expressway has Martha Churchill was looking for her husband Terry “Bubba” Churchill. “I was lookin to get me some of those new-fangled i-pads when my Bubba disappeared,” Martha was quoted, “so I went to the service desk and had him paged.”

“A group of Bubba’s stampeded to the service desk taking out the woman’s clothing, automotive, and “As Seen on T.V.” departments,” Sargent Swedenborg of the Springfield PD said, “Oddly enough the produce section was unharmed.”  Dozens of people were startled by the ruckus, but no one was seriously injured. Wal-mart was reportedly closed for an un-heard of two hour time span for clean up and repairs.

“I knew there was lots uh Bubba’s out today, but I never thunk they would all be here at the Wal-Mart,” Martha continued, “I guess my husband is right, I ain’t worth a damn.”

This isn’t the first time there have been problems on Bubba Day. In 1992 Nixa Hardware had a similar incident involving the “Bubba’s” and a bib overall sale. Three people were killed and twenty-seven were seriously injured.

As a reminder the third Saturday of every June is National Hollerin’ Contest Day. The citizens of Springfield are urged to stay away from Dollar General, DAV stores, and the Battlefield Farmer’s Market to avoid any hearing damage that might be caused by the event.

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