Springfield, MO – After winning the National Gerber Baby contest, eleven month old Nate Stuffington has blown through his winning prize money in a matter of days. Blinged out binkies, gold-lined diapers, and radical plastic surgery has consumed the less-than-yearlings’ earnings.
According to sources, he even purchased his parents a vacation home in Aspen, CO with year-round ski lift passes and private ski tutors. Said Stuffington, “Yamma, la go-go, li hi! Mama, Dada. Hiii-laaa!” Which loosely translated means “I’m rich! Gimme some Go-Gurt and don’t tell Mom or Dad, boy-eee!”
Nate paid for surgical procedures at three clinics for men who wanted to more resemble the new Gerber face and even donated $10,000 to local tattoo shop Little Tattoo for fans to have his face inked on their bodies. “We’ve had a lot of requests for Baby Nate since he won. Fortunately, thanks to Nate generosity, those who couldn’t afford his likeness tatted on their necks can now have themselves inked forever with his likeness,” said one ink artist.
This just in…It seems that Nate has not spend the entire winnings frivolously but has invested a considerable amount according to E*Trade baby advice.
“We were surprised by his enthusiasm when we won, actually we had no idea he knew how to budget finances. Apparently we thought all the money was used by Nate on frivolous endeavors but he actually invested most of the money in Chinese gold so we’re ahead 1.5M with the current currency exchange rates,” claimed his happy-go-lucky parents.
Nate was last seen hanging with Lady Gaga advising her on new ways to reach the pre-toddler crowd with neon diaper covers trimmed with studded dog collars.
Filed Under: Food