Springfield, MO – The city populace spoke loudly and proudly with a 65% to 35% vote to approve spitting lougies in public, an amendment to the vote against the repeal of the smoking ban restrictions in Springfield.
“Lougies were at one time considered rash and boorish behavior, produced only by those citizens most despised by the public, but now they are an acceptable form of expression,” said Snots Sniffler, a lobbyist for sucking snot into one’s nasal cavities and hacking it out through the throat and mouth. “The hipsters, aficionados and Springfield’s elite are now free to hock up a fat greener based on the voter returns. It’s a city law people!”
The Snot Union of Citizens Keeper or, S.U. C. K., reportedly began working on the amendment to the negative vote months ago and achieved a placement onto the ballot at the last minute. “We were denied for several months, but we couldn’t possibly see a place that was smoke-free and spit-free. The two are basically opposite ugly, bad habits. If one is removed, the other must exist,” said S.U.C.K. trustee Hawk M. Long.
“I just approved what?” said one voter, Yolanda Vidservander. “I’m not a fan of smoking or spitting, but if I had to choose, and I did, I guess I just voted for spitting,” said Vidservander as she tried to yetch up the biggest snot-cicle she could to demonstrate her admonishment of inhaling tobacco from a rolled paper delivery system of addictive vegetation.
Filed Under: Politics
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