Springfield, MO – According to sources inside the FieldHouse Sportscenter, whose ground breaking ceremony recently occurred, many are considering including the word “court” in the name. Currently, the FieldHouse caters only to sports played on a court, not a field.
“Basketball and volleyball are most certainly played on courts, not fields,” said one insider, John Swimmer, with unwavering accuracy. “If we were hosting teams of youth who played football, soccer, ‘field’ hockey or rugby maybe we could justify ‘field’ or maybe even ‘pitch’ house. But ‘court’ most accurately describes what our stated focus is,” said Swimmer.
CourtHouse does carry some deeply held beliefs both positive and negative. “I remember when I went to the courthouse and got married. I also recall being sentenced to community service at the court house. I think that symbolizes sports accomplishments and failures. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. That’d be a more accurate description of the sports facility,” said Nancy Hoemapper of Ozark, MO.
Historian Harper Hanley said, “Who knows how the naming process went, maybe the facility naming committee considered Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas as inspiration. I could certainly see how taking a cue from an organization that refers to itself after a fictional bird might easily confuse the words fields and court. Perhaps they watch a lot of ESPN’s Sports Center and wanted to honor that program as well. It is hard to tell. Most confusing is that the website shows it as being established in 2013 – the future. My only assumption is that they are time travelers and have a greater understanding than I am exposed to currently.”
Opponents of the name change insist that fields do exist in homes, take for example gravity. Plus the name Court House might suggest that the facility is a speed dating institution. Common ground might be reached by if adoption of the name “Structure of Athletic Tests with Air-Filled Spheres That Occur On Flooring” or “SATAS TOOF”. However, some claim that the acronym reminds them of a lonely mouth with tooth decay.
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