Apple Maps Drive SGF to the Core of Frustration

Apple twists roadways like an apple stem

Springfield, MO – Apple’s new iPhone mapping software has caused quite a few problems in Springfield, FCN has learned. “I spent 3 hours following my iPhone trying to find the corner of Glenstone and Campbell to find that damn Jack in the Box,” St Louis native Andrea Piacello said in disgust while eating tacos from Mexican Villa.

Tulsa visitor Bob McNabox called us after he was routed to Solo Cup when he wanted a beer, “I wanted to try a Mother’s Brew and asked for directions to one of your fine downtown establishments and instead it routed me to a [explicative] cup factory that’s closed and for sale.”

Joplin resident Tim Tobag wanted some adult entertainment but was surprised to find where his iPhone routed him, “I wanted to go to the X-Spot, but my piece of crap iPhone routed me to Divison and Boonville.  Suddenly I went from meeting someone from Craigslist to meeting God.”

An Apple spokesman confirmed the flaws to FCN commenting, “We are aware our mapping isn’t perfect.  We should not have outsourced our maps to the ACME Corporation or the NFL replacement refs.  However, the gentleman who was routed to the address on Division was correct.  Apple, as a point of policy, reroutes all immoral and indecent requests to God.  If he wants his precious smut, he can get an Android, as they have that smut.  Ned Flanders insisted on this when he signed up for an iPhone.”