Monkey Appears at Hammons Tower

Springfield’s newest office tenant

Springfield, MO – A fashionable dressed monkey appeared inside the Hammons Tower this week, just days after causing a stir at a Toronto Ikea store. The primate was seen completing law agreements and managing teller responsibilities within the massive building.

“I went inside to use the Empire ATM and this monkey took my ATM card out of my hand, put it into the machine. I put in my code and he handed me my cash and card. I walked away stunned. Then the monkey caught me at the door and handed me the receipt I had forgotten. It was an amazing experience,” said Dave Litinger of Springfield.
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Building administrators claimed the monkey was not properly employed and had mysteriously gained access to several secured areas, but managed to effectively perform human job  functions. “My tax problems were very complex, my legal consultant left the room to take a break when this little bitty monkey came in and scribbled a few numbers on the wall, and I was like ‘oh duh’, I got my solution from a smartly dressed primate – thank you Holiday Monkey!,” claimed Erin Masterson.

Most visitors to Hammons Tower had a positive engagement with the little hairy visitor although one woman claimed she found it smearing poop on the windows of the Tower Club. “It was so cute it didn’t really bother anybody,” said the woman.