Stairway to Heaven Under Construction

Primary stages of Jacob’s Ladder

Springfield, MO – Attempting to build a direct portal to the heavens, a construction crew on National south of Battlefield is continuing progress to build a ladder to the Almighty’s front door. The project is scheduled to be completed by Christmas and will attain a final height of 500 miles tall.

“So, this is a ladder…to Heaven?” said one passerby while shrugging indifferently, “I’d rather have a tunnel to China, can we work on that next?” Ideally, the stairway will be the number one tourist attraction in Missouri, possibly even the world.

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Brittany Longstooth, of Nixa, said, “I’d totally ask Him why Miley is being so weird lately. I love her but she is freaking me out.” “Yes, confounding questions like these could be addressed…” conceded Prichawk.

One ticket to climb the structure is anticipated to cost $1,500 per person and includes oxygen tanks and food for the 3 month journey into space. Rest stations are to be positioned every 5 miles and will included refilling stations, entertainment and sleeping cots for the space pilgrims.