Child Preparing to Hide Candy from Parents

No tricks this year, only treats

Springfield, MO – According to playground conversations, 2nd grader Lanie Post is actively putting into motion a plan to keep the best tasting candy out of her parent’s hands during and after Halloween. Claiming past experiences as her motivation, Post is determined to prevent Kit Kats, Reese’s peanut butter cups and Sour Patch Kids from falling into “well intentioned” hands.

“Last year, I know they squeezed some quality chocolates past me. They said they were doing a safety check and ‘needed to be sure it wasn’t poisoned’ which was a total scam,” said Post, “this year that isn’t going to happen.”

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“I’ve spend months training my fingers to tell the difference between a packaged toothbrush and a full sized Snickers candy bar,” said Post, “at first it wasn’t that difficult but it is much, much better to be well-trained and safe than sorry.”

Post claims her candy yield will increase 64% year-over-year if her strategy works. “I don’t blame my parents for wanting the good stuff. Candy is very enticing. But sometimes you have to protect your loved ones from their own best interests.”

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