All Entries Tagged With: "Environment"
Man Rides Hog for Bike to Work Week
Springfield, MO—Local Harley enthusiast Lloyd “Mangus” Hamiltons was especially excited to learn that May 16-20 was Bike to Work week in Springfield, his newly acquired hog was “due for a good commuting test”. Mangus, a local botanist at Mark Twain National Forrest, said, “I was totally afraid that the carbon emissions that my hog emitted […]
SGF Rents Giant Shop Vac To Remove Water
Springfield, MO—After presenting two forms of identification and laying down a $50 deposit, The City of Springfield has rented a giant shop vac to remove rainwater from roads, bridges and basements. The 6000-gal. 2,300HP shop vac was deemed necessary following heavy rainfall on Wednesday, when 6 to 10.5 inches of rain covered the city causing […]
The Heat Is Off
Springfield MO—Relief from the 100-plus degree days of summer will soon be on the way to the people of Springfield. “We didn’t know what to tell people on how to cool down,” said Bill Bosco senior spokesman for the Springfield Health Department. “While driving around doing our health inspections we noticed that people in Southern […]
Oil-Soaked Fisherman Wash Into Ozarks
Springfield, MO — Oil-covered fisherman and oil-soaked tourism proprietors have reportedly washed into the Ozarks as a result of the Gulf Oil Disaster. The effort to save Homo sapiens affected by the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has reached the shores of Greene County as people stricken by the disaster move north […]
Global Warming Dethawed by “Going Black”
Springfield, MO— Citizens are banding together in a grassroots movement to toss aside their “Green” lifestyles in favor of “Going Black” to encourage global warming and increase local temperatures. Sub arctic temperatures have terrorized Southwest Missouri, welcoming snow and ice that has caused discomfort, irritation and a general lack of production. Ozarkers are welcoming global […]
Railroad Claims Diesel Spring Natural Miracle
Springfield, MO—Recent event have forced a spotlight on the amazing diesel spring located on property owned by a local railroad company. Springfield officials are claiming that the DNR or EPA should investigate further, as the City doesn’t wish to accept responsibility for the contamination that runs into the Jordan River that deposits into Table Rock […]
