All Entries Tagged With: "football"
Clif Smart to Twerk @ MSU Blackout
Springfield, MO – After crowd surfing at the newly renovated Plaster Stadium, Clif Smart has vowed to twerk during Saturday’s 6:00 pm Bears home opener vs. North Dakota if the new student section is packed out for Saturday night’s “Blackout”. Smart set the stage by crowd surfing earlier this week and claimed to raise the […]
Mizzou Fans Headed to the NFL
Columbia, MO – After a successful cheering on of their football team during the 41-31 win over Oklahoma State in Friday’s 2014 AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic, hundreds of fans have declared themselves eligible for the 2014 NFL season. “We gave a lot this past year. And we’re foregoing our next year of eligibility to support […]
Insensitive Wife Totally Forgets Super Bowl
Nixa, MO- Local wife and mother Lily Harslow is in the doghouse today because she forgot the most important day in a man’s year: Super Bowl Sunday. Even though Mrs. Harslow apologized profusely, she knows that it will take a while before her husband’s heart will heal. “I knew it was sometime in February,” states […]
Obama Calls It Quits After Redskins Loss
Springfield, MO – The local democratic campaign office has announced that President Obama will not seek another term after the Washington Redskins lost to the Carolina Panthers this past weekend. The report referenced Obama’s decision was based solely upon the Redskins Rule, which has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential election since 1940. Obama […]
Dorial Green-Beckham Catches Ball, Runs Length of United States
Springfield, MO – Hillcrest High School senior football wide receiver Dorial Green-Beckham broke a national record tonight by catching a slant pass and running to Washington State in record time. No other athlete has ever attempted this feat and DGB didn’t know that he had completed a record-breaking catch until he reached the Pacific […]
World Cup Interrupts Weather Report
Springfield, MO—A local ABC-affiliated television station attempted to broadcast a special weather report on Sunday, however, it was interrupted several times by the presentation of FIFA’s final game of the World Cup. Karl Hirky, a Springfield resident, who was tuned in at the time said, “I like watching the weather in Camdenton, MO so the […]
Springfield WolfPack Pick Up Larry Johnson
Springfield, MO—Team officials announced that the Springfield WolfPack will be picking up former Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson Jr. for the upcoming indoor football season. Head coach Mike Burris said, “we’re taking it one game at a time, LJ gives us a great chance to compete week in and week out.” Johnson was […]
