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Smoking Ban Debated Thru Hole In Neck

Springfield, MO—Roger Thornsburry spoke eloquently through the hole in his neck last night at the Springfield City Council’s public’s opinion regarding the proposed Smoke-Free Air Ordinance. Thornsburry voiced his opinion thru his artificial larynx and pleaded with the nine council members to not “take away my freedoms”. Thornsburry was joined by several hundred other smoking […]

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Vaccine Vendors Flourish on “Swine Flu”

Springfield, MO—Street vendors are seeing an increase in business this autumn as the flow of H1N1 vaccine has come to a trickle here in the Ozarks. According to public health officials, doses are now only available via physicians or from hospitals. Those seeking immediate vaccination have turned to the streets, specifically underground vaccine vendors. “H1N1 […]