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Cider Days Enjoys Beautiful Weather; Artsfest Cursed

Springfield, MO—The Cider Days Festival enjoyed beautiful weather much to the dismay of Artsfest organizers this past weekend. Artsfest, which usually occurs on a rainy weekend has longed for a weekend such as this for their event to bask in. “I’m happy for Cider Days,” said an Artsfest committee member though clenched teeth. “I just [...]

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SGF Rents Giant Shop Vac To Remove Water

Springfield, MO—After presenting two forms of identification and laying down a $50 deposit, The City of Springfield has rented a giant shop vac to remove rainwater from roads, bridges and basements. The 6000-gal. 2,300HP shop vac was deemed necessary following heavy rainfall on Wednesday, when 6 to 10.5 inches of rain covered the city causing [...]

Artsfest Inspires Precipitation

Springfield—Walnut Street swelled with crowds ready to browse the art filled curbs intent to celebrate spring this past weekend. Tents filled with crafts, paintings and foods align annually at this time of the year to form Artsfest. Unbeknownst to the casual observer, this ritual triggers a predictable climactic change known as “rain”. World-renowned climatologist Dr. [...]

Storm-crazed Meteorologists Track Weather

Local TV weather personalities lost their effin’ minds over last night’s exciting storms. Like green on a pickle, area weathermen and women were beside themselves with joy as they tracked potential deadly weather racing across the Ozarks. As ominous clouds gathered, KY3 reporters Ron Hearst, Dave Snider and Brandon Beck jumped into the air and [...]