Hooligan Attacks Soccer Field With Truck

Springfield, MO—A hooligan motorist was arrested Tuesday at the Cooper Family Soccerplex after launching his pickup truck through a fence, shredding two soccer fields and ramming the truck repeatedly into a concession stand.

Witnesses told Springfield police the suspect got out of the truck, walked to the Killian Sports Complex and verbally abused several people leaving softball games at the complex with a “bad English accent”.

Lake Country Executive Director Kelly Ross said hooliganism refers to unruly and destructive behaviour, singing songs with a British accent and spelling words with an extra “u” among other rowdy behaviour and vandalism, often under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

“He said, ‘why downt chu go bite a red roofer, ya yank’ which made no sense to me,” said Lou Dibbles, catcher for The Touchables softball team.

Police, aided by a police dog and a Springfield-Greene County park ranger, took the suspect into custody as he chanted “Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole…Ole, Ole”. The hooligan will likely be charged with driving while intoxicated, felony property damage, trespassing and poorly impersonating an Englishman.

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