Bailiff Busted: Removes Self From Courtroom

Bentonville, AR—Three-and-a-half months since her first arrest, a county bailiff was taken into custody again on Sunday effectively removing her from her former position within the court system.

Reportedly, 35-year-old Roz Russell was driving recklessly at around 3:00 a.m. She was pulled over a by a deputy and then refused to submit to an intoxication test. “I can’t submit to a test I’ve not even been studying for,” said Russell stumbling over a case of Bailiff Beer-Ale that had fallen out of her vehicle.

The Benton County Court—presided over by the young, unorthodox Judge Harold T. “Harry” Stone—was scattering to find a replacement bailiff since Russell was originally scheduled to fill in for a co-worker. When contacted to report for work while vacationing in the Florida Keys, bailiff Nostradamus “Bull” Shannon replied, “Ohh-kay”.

The deputy booked the bailiff on charges of misdemeanor driving while intoxicated, refusing to submit to an intoxication test, and driving with a suspended or revoked license. “Now that’s a good trick Roz,” said Judge Stone.

Russell was arrested back in April for similar charges. She was released from Benton County Jail on Sunday and is scheduled to appear in night court on August 31st where she’ll serve as defendant and bailiff. Dan Fielding plans to go easy on Russell as long as Christine Sullivan agrees to have dinner with the lecherous, sex-obsessed narcissistic prosecutor.

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