Archive for July, 2010
Nelly Claims Grand Palace Too “Hot in Herre”
Branson, MO—Cornell Haynes, Jr., better known as Nelly, had planned to perform an outdoor concert in the Grand Palace parking lot August 21st before the City of Branson turned down a permit for the event. Having visited the Grand Palace, Nelly claimed the theatre was “getting hot in here” and preferred to have an outdoor […]
Japanese Beatles Headed to Branson
Branson, MO – Liverpool Legends stage manager, Mitch Grunion, couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the billboard on Hwy. 76 displaying a color ad for the Japanese Beatles performing live at the Butterfly Palace. “Louise isn’t going to like this” he exclaimed as he pulled over to snap a picture of the ad on […]
Man Dies of Good Health
Springfield, MO – A local man was found dead Thursday outside the Roughage Mart health food store on National Street after collapsing from too much health. Wayne Abcruncher, 46, was found by Roughage Mart employee Ashli Wheemonger upon her arrival for work Thursday morning. She said that Abcruncher had been a longtime customer and a […]
Lady Gaga To Headline Annual I Love America Celebration
Springfield, MO – James River Assembly stunned local church watchers today announcing Lady Gaga as the headliner for next years’ I Love America annual celebration. A volunteer spokesperson for the Super-Center sized church said, “Lady Gaga was snatched from the jaws of drug addition by her dearly beloved dead Aunt Joanne and she has a […]
Woody Does Justice to Entrepreneurial Spirit
Springfield, MO – Jeweler (by personal request) to The Ozarks, Woody Justice, recently designed and introduced a new line of revolutionary engagement jewelry featuring the Ball and Chain Pendant. “This concept, developed right here at our Springfield store, puts a whole new spin on the contemporary marriage scene.” Justice proclaimed. “With so many guys unwilling […]
Springfield…Big City?? I don’t think so…
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker I went to a nice restaurant recently…that will remain unnamed…and it came to my attention that some people here in Springfield really think they are a “big deal.” Seriously, let me remind all of you, we are a far cry from the “big city” and in this Podunk town, there is […]
