TSA Implements Hokey Pokey At SGF Airport
FairCityNews.com | Nov 22, 2010 | Comments 0
Passenger "turns her self around" during airport screening
Springfield, MO— The head of the Transportation Security Administration said Sunday that he would try to make airport screening “as minimally invasive as possible,” and introduced a new screening procedure that includes dancing the “Hokey Pokey” which will replace aggressive pat-downs that have rankled passengers and lawmakers.
As the busy travel season approaches, TSA agents at the Springfield-Branson National Airport (KSGF) will be the first to implement the new procedure in a test pilot program. If all goes well, the new security screenings will be rolled out across the nation.
Passengers at KSGF will be required to pass through metal detectors first putting their left hand in, then taking it out, then putting it back in and shaking it all about. The drill will continue for all major body parts. “The shaking part is very important,” said TSA agent Luke Attem, “if there are any hidden tubes of toothpaste more than 3 oz. in weight, they will be visible or will fall out due to the vigorous dancing.”
TSA Administrator John Pistole said in a statement Sunday afternoon the agency is “constantly evaluating and adapting” security and that procedures are refined “in fact, we considered requiring all passengers to dance the tango with a TSA agent, but that dance was deemed too suggestive so we settled on the Hokey Pokey.”
Travelers have greeted the TSA and their invasive pat-down procedures with rising anger over the past few months. The TSA says it is moving toward Israelification while maintaining tough security and “that’s what it’s all about,” said Pistole.
Filed Under: Travel
