All Entries Tagged With: "attack"
Geese Kill Man in Gang Related Retaliation
Springfield, MO – In what city leaders fear may escalate into all out interspecies gang warfare, a man, Charles Donald, 45, was found dead in his yard, the victim of an apparent honk-by. Five geese were seen by witnesses walking by the yard, then attacking with wings and beaks ablazing. The geese immediately flew off […]
Owl Beheads Woman
Springfield, MO – Amanda Fickerton was beheaded by a great horned owl last night in a southern neighborhood coffee shop near Ravenswood. Fickerton had been enjoying a night out with friends when the winged beast swooped in, grasped her by the hair and ripped her head from her body. “It was so cool! This thing […]
Prancercising Man Trampled By Horse
Springfield, MO – A local man attempting to prancercise was run down and trampled by a horse. Witnesses said the horse was horrified that any human would employ “a springy, rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse’s gait” for exercise and immediately bolted toward the man nostrils flared, head down. “I’ve never seen […]
