All Entries Tagged With: "Biology"
Spring Wakens Famous Ozark Spotted Terror-weevil
Springfield, MO- With warmer weather and brighter skies Ozarkians are looking forward to baseball, picnics, and the awakening of the spotted Terror-weevil. The Terror-weevil can only be seen in the months of March and April where it emerges from deep underground caverns. This emergence (called the Terror Bloom by 1800’s Hill folk) is a rare […]
Several Men Arrested for Cougar Poaching
Springfield, MO—This past weekend, Battlefield Mall security apprehended at least eight suspects for cougar hunting out of season. Every year, on the first of August, the cougars tend to migrate back to retailers in an attempt to find good deals on clothing for their young. Known for their ferocious attitude, raw sex appeal and sixth […]
Local Man Has Had It
Springfield, MO – Local zookeeper Adam Wilkins has just about had it, he reported late yesterday. Apparently the pecking order of employees comes at a cost that Mr. Wilkins is no longer prepared to tolerate. “For 11 long years, I’ve lovingly maintained the reptile house, risking my life on several occasions in order to feed […]
Rogue Trees Get Payback
Springfield, MO—During the month of April, local trees claimed to pay back Springfieldians with potential lifetime benefits, however, several trees on the Drury campus had another message for locals. “This tree hasn’t done anything for us lately” and “This tree was kind of a dick to us in high school” messaging was found hanging on […]
