All Entries Tagged With: "Family"
Parents Rejoice After Dropping School Kids Off
Springfield, MO – The first day of school signals the beginning of individual freedoms for thousands of Ozarks parents across the city. August 15 brings absolute independence from 9-3 Monday – Friday and many parents are eager to taste the sweet liberty that secondary education offers. “F’ yeah – let’s all go to White Water, […]
Squash Seized, Slashed, and Smashed for Shocking Samhain Ceremony
Dateline Springfield: Welcome back listeners. That was Macy Wallace with her new jazz hit, “City Lights.” We now interrupt this regularly schedule program with exciting news from Professor Farrell of the Chicago Observatory. Apparently, some explosions on the surface of Mars has jittered many scientist interested in – Hold on… This just in… A […]
Summer Romance Ends At Summer Reunion
Springfield, MO- A budding romance between Amy Boone and Kurt Brower ended yesterday when they both discovered that they are blood relatives. The awkward situation arouse when they decided to “party hop” noticing both their family reunions happened at the same park, at the same day, at the same time. “At first I was […]
Neighbor Chokes Man’s Chicken
Springfield, MO— Apparently it isn’t just City Council who is evenly divided over the decision allowing up to six chickens to be boarded in the city limits. Residents of the affluent Highland Springs Country Club gated community watched in horror late yesterday as two of their own residents, 34-year-old Reginald “Reggie” Waddlesworth, a prominent stay-at-home-dad, […]
This Year Nixa Sinkhole is Financial
For the third year in a row the Nixa area has been hit with a surprise sinkhole, although this year it is an altogether different kind. In the two previous years the ground caved in swallowing all the land and whatever happened to be built on top of it. This year the financial market caved […]
Obama Speech Warps Kids’ Minds to Think Independently
Springfield, MO—After hearing President Obama’s speech today, Ozarks children’s minds were warped to the point of thinking independently. The speech has caused a buzz around the area as some parents said they worried that the president is seeking to deliver a political message to young people so that their brainwashing efforts might be thwarted. Local […]
