All Entries Tagged With: "mo"
Trip Good…Travel Bad…
Springfield, MO – I love vacation as much as the next person but the travel has simply become too much to take. You might as well expect to get spitting angry somewhere between point A and point B. One thing that might help is to know what you might expect from those you are traveling […]
Glen Beck Opens Branson Theatre
Branson, MO—The American conservative radio and television host, author, entrepreneur, and political commentator Glen Beck recently announced that he is opening a theatre in Branson where he will host daily shows for live audiences. The news follows Beck’s comes just one month after he left the Fox News Channel on June 30th, 2011. Beck’s company, […]
Center of Universe Located In Missouri
Plato, MO—The center of population for the United States has been in Missouri since 1980, however, according to current U.S. census data Plato, MO is now the center of the Universe. Plato’s location is 23.4 miles west of Edgar Springs, and is responsible for reflecting growth of the Galactic population in the Universe. This […]
Nixa Software Opens For Agro-Techs
Nixa, MO—Seven acres of software opened in Christian County on Highway 14 and 160 this week as Nixa Software welcomes digital loving rural customers who will be provided with high-tech gear for getting chores done around the house or the ranch. “I bought my daddy a iPhone holder belt buckle, his phone just slides […]
McDonald’s Overwhelmed With People Preparing For Snow Storm
Springfield, MO. –Deemed the worst storm to hit the Ozarks since 2003, the massive snow storm front sweeping the nation has been called many names such as: “Snolocaust”, “Snowpocolypse”, even “Snowmageddon”. Its impending smack down in our region has local residents preparing for the worse. “I’m not going to get caught with my pants down […]
The Zodiac Sells Out
SPRINGFIELD, MO—The earth’s alignment has changed and so have the dates assigned to zodiac signs. “We’ve known about this for awhile,” admitted Parke Funkle, official spokesperson for the American Coalition of Astrologers (ACA) and vice president of Dudes with Weird Names (DWN). “It was time for a change, horoscopes just weren’t selling like they used […]
3-Way Craigslist Ad Leads to Steak n Shake
Springfield, MO – An ad posted on the popular classified site Craigslist recently promised area residents a 3-way if they went to the corner of Campbell & Swan or Glenstone & Cinderella. Johnny Moronico of Bois D’Arc replied to the ad only to find he was getting Chili from Steak N Shake and not the […]
Turkey Trot Course Hampers Sausage & Gravy Run
Springfield, MO—Kent Louizer, a local breakfast connoisseur, is making plans to visit his favorite breakfast shop Thanksgiving morning based on the Turkey Trot road closures. “The dang ol’ race isn’t going to keep me from getting my sausage and gravy,” stated Louizer. According to Louizer, each year at Thanksgiving he has to make a special […]
Merle’s introduces the “Thanksgiving Dinner Dog”
Springfield MO – In the spirit of the holiday season, Merle’s Hot Dog Emporium has introduced an all-new hot dog that combines all of your holiday favorites. The Thanksgiving Dinner Dog is a turkey hot dog served on two dinner rolls and topped with stuffing, cranberry sauce, and gravy. Local Foodie Charles Nelson Romanowski declared, […]
Staxx Owner Buys Jelly Beans, Red Hots, Peach O’s
Springfield, MO—According to sources, Meghan Chambers, owner of Staxx LLC downtown clothing store, has purchased several gummy confectioneries made of sugars, gelatin, corn syrup, and starch. On Tuesday, an employee at the Candy House on South Campbell Avenue confirmed that she saw Chambers picking through an assorted bin of Jelly Belly beans, meticulously picking out […]
Local Woman Finds John Q. Image In French Toast
Springfield, MO – Mrs. Ginger Rinkenbaugh received quite a surprise yesterday morning when the unmistakable image of John Q. Hammons appeared on her second slice of French toast. It was not a sign that she takes lightly in the least. “I had just told my husband, Mortimer, that I was at a loss as to […]
Daly’s Pants Displayed at Murder Rock
Branson, MO – In honor of John Daly’s 6-under-par 66 in the first round of the Open Championship, his outrageous pants have been shipped directly to his Murder Rock Golf and Country Club in the Ozarks. Officially licensed replica trousers will be available for purchase in the coming weeks. “When John christened Murder Rock playing […]
Pythian Castle Ghosts Seek License to Haunt
Springfield, MO—On Monday, the Pythian Castle was officially certified as a haunted location; now the castle owner, Linda Finny, says the spooks are taking the next steps to achieve full licensing. “Certification was a long tedious process, but it is essential to earning a full license to haunt,” said Finny. “Paranormal activities in the castle […]
Nelly Claims Grand Palace Too “Hot in Herre”
Branson, MO—Cornell Haynes, Jr., better known as Nelly, had planned to perform an outdoor concert in the Grand Palace parking lot August 21st before the City of Branson turned down a permit for the event. Having visited the Grand Palace, Nelly claimed the theatre was “getting hot in here” and preferred to have an outdoor […]
Japanese Beatles Headed to Branson
Branson, MO – Liverpool Legends stage manager, Mitch Grunion, couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the billboard on Hwy. 76 displaying a color ad for the Japanese Beatles performing live at the Butterfly Palace. “Louise isn’t going to like this” he exclaimed as he pulled over to snap a picture of the ad on […]
