All Entries Tagged With: "National Football League"
Mizzou Fans Headed to the NFL
Columbia, MO – After a successful cheering on of their football team during the 41-31 win over Oklahoma State in Friday’s 2014 AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic, hundreds of fans have declared themselves eligible for the 2014 NFL season. “We gave a lot this past year. And we’re foregoing our next year of eligibility to support […]
Arrowhead Sets World Record for Silence in 2012
Kansas City, MO – It is official, last year the Chiefs set a record at Arrowhead Stadium for being the least loud venue in American football. Team officials only recently revealed that they flew a Guinness World Records official to the Chiefs v. Raiders game in 2012 where fans set the lowest sound record of […]
NFL Hires Sammy B. Good as Referee
Springfield, MO – National Football League (NFL) officials have a new face to help call games – Sammy B. Good. Good was added to the officiating ranks to help add credibility to the struggling replacement refs who have yet to gain the full confidence of NFL players, coaches, fans, people who prefer ballet, aborigines, and […]
NFL Uses Replacement Fans
Springfield, MO – The National Football League will open the regular season with replacement fans in the Ozarks on opening day. League executives told the 32 teams that negotiations remain at a standstill between the NFL and the officials’ union, prompting fans to be replaced week 1. The replacement fans will be in the stands […]
DGB Chooses to Stay at HHS for 1 More Year
Springfield, MO – The nation’s number one high school recruit, Dorial Green-Beckham declared his intentions on national signing day with a stunning proclamation: to stay at Hillcrest High School for one more year before signing a letter of intent with an institute of higher learning. “DGB felt that he really needed more time to make […]
Dorial Green-Beckham Catches Ball, Runs Length of United States
Springfield, MO – Hillcrest High School senior football wide receiver Dorial Green-Beckham broke a national record tonight by catching a slant pass and running to Washington State in record time. No other athlete has ever attempted this feat and DGB didn’t know that he had completed a record-breaking catch until he reached the Pacific […]
Office NFL Jersey Day Taken Too Far
Springfield, MO – Employees at Jimmerson Accounting were deeply offended today when VP of Operations Lance Figpie came dressed as an Oakland Raiders fan. The office had declared today as “wear your team jersey day” to celebrate the opening of the NFL season. Figpie took the spirit day too far according to co-workers. ”Lance showed […]
Priest Holmes Inducted Due to Fantasy Value
Springfield, MO—Former NFL running back, Priest Holmes was swarmed by uber-fantasy football geeks on Sunday eager to meet the man who propelled them to fantasy victories. This past weekend, Holmes was inducted into the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame for his contributions to fantasy football players in Missouri. Said one attendee, Norm Hamilton, “I had […]
Carrie Underwood Preps for JQH Performance at Super Bowl
Springfield, MO—Carrie Underwood prepared for her JQH Arena performance by warming up the crowd at Super Bowl by singing the national anthem. Tickets will go on sale Friday for her performance at JQH Arena June 15 during half time of a Bears exhibition game. Management for Underwood stressed that she needed a “small quite venue […]
One Man Rush to Purchase Rams
St. Louis, MO—Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh says he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. If purchased, it is widely assumed that Limbaugh will institute a Gang of Eight football management style to leverage his experience of on-air offensive lines, piling […]
