Lazy Neighbor Activates Ever-Present Holiday Lights

Lazy man finally turns on the Christmas lights he left up all year

Springfield, MO—Neighborhood scourge, Jimmy Holstein, lit up his omnipresent holiday lights on Tuesday, bringing to life a sting of laziness that has hung on his roof since 2005.

“The first year Holstein moved in, we all thought it was very festive that he hung Christmas lights. Then New Years came and went, and then Valentine’s Day and Easter…we weren’t sure if he forgot or just really like Christmas. Turns out he’s lazy!” said an annoyed neighbor, Sandy Yulada.

According to reports, Holstein would occasionally add gaudy Santa and snowman blow up decorations and leave them up until they were worn thin by the weather. “Usually around October, his inflatables would be shredded. We used to refer to him as celebrating ‘Chrismaween’ due to his choice to set out Halloween gear next to the lights on his bushes and trees,” said a bemused former neighbor who refused to be identified. “We’re so glad we moved in December when it seemed normal to have a neighbor with lights on their roof, even if the strands had burnt bulbs.”

Several people have asked Holstein about his annoying and inconsiderate behavior only to be met with an obscure pop culture reference of refusal. “2005 it was ‘talk to the hand’, 2007 I was told to ‘eat his shorts’, this year he’ll likely post MYOB on my blog,” said Yulada.

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