Ft. Wood Attacked by Mighty Black Tornado

Eat tornadoes and fart hurricanes, this tornado looks like a g-string on a dirty man

Springfield, MO—Fort Leonard Wood was recently attacked by a mighty black tornado, ripping through soldier’s ranks like a tear in a lost lottery ticket. The force of nature completely dominated the most powerful military force on Earth with little regard for repercussions.

Former President Bush said, “These tornadoes are devastating, when cold and warm air masses mix they create an axis of evil that we must not back down from unless we want to backed down upon by backing down.”

President Obama supported Bush’s comments and added, “We must defeat these mighty black tornadoes with eloquently phrased rhetoric and dramatic…pauses. Yes, we can!” The Government has identified Mother Nature as an immediate, clear and present danger and has frozen all her assets in an attempt to place a stranglehold on her destructive efforts.

An unnamed Ft. Wood representative said, “MotherFather! We were surprise attacked in the middle of the night by our worst enemy. We have no defense as our weather-manipulation weapon is still under development. I believe that someone told Mother Nature that we were working on such as devise and she orchestrated a premeditated attack to neutralize our efforts.”

When reached for comment military expert R. Lee Ermey barked, “Tornado? When I was a wet-eared, pimple-faced cadet we ate tornadoes for brunch and farted hurricanes. Suck it up ladies! Hoorah!”

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