All Entries Tagged With: "nixa missouri"
Fugitive Ruins Recess for Hundreds of Nixa Students
Nixa, MO – Earlier this week, known and wanted fugitive, Matthew Allen was spotted strolling in Nixa, forcing 3 local schools to be placed on lock-down preventing afternoon recess to take place. Students at Mathews Elementary, Espy Elementary and Nixa High School were upset and confused by the decision. “I was s’pose to swing with […]
Walmart Sign Goes Up Without the “S”
Springfield, MO – The newest Walmart Neighborhood Market located on Glenstone Avenue is primed and ready to open despite hanging the incorrect signage above the main entrance. According to several hundred passing drivers, the sign in missing the “S” at the end of the word. “I been to Walmarts going on now thirty years. Aight […]
Infamous Dave’s to Open Next to Famous Dave’s
Springfield, MO – infamous Dave’s is a chain of northern-style barbecue restaurants serving pork ribs, chicken and beef brisket. They have recently secured the location next door to Famous Dave’s a southern-style bbq joint. Infamous Dave’s prides itself on having an extremely bad reputation, horrible customer service and being detestable in general. Reaction is mixed […]
“Who Want’s to Be Deported?” to be Filmed in SGF
Springfield, Mo. - City leaders have announced the first episode of a new show from the National Broadcast Company (NBC) will be filmed in Springfield this fall. In coordination with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), the new show will be called ‘Let’s Get You ‘Legal’’. Featuring undocumented aliens who will be given eight minutes […]
Local Men Claim “Worlds Best Dad” Title
Springfield, Mo- Adding to an already intense holiday weekend, there appears to be a close contest for the title of “Best Dad”. Three local Ozarks men appear to be in a heated head-to-head battle for the coveted title. Each was awarded the title when they received as gifts from their children a mug/t-shirt combo with […]
New Ziggie’s Opens in Basement
Springfield, MO—According to sources, a new Ziggie’s restaurant has opened in the basement of Randolph Heckerson’s home at 2348 S. Tucker. The new location will feature the same trademark menu and atmosphere as existing restaurants currently in operation around the Ozarks. According to Heckerson he found the business after returning home from work as an […]
Bottle Rocket War in Nixa This Year!
Nixa, MO—Monday night, the Nixa Board of Alderman unanimously voted for an awesome bottle rocket war in their city. Venders are allowed to continue to sell the small sky rockets guided by the mouth of a bottle. Usually considered a unique hazard, due to their ability to fly in many different directions other than vertically, […]
Villages at Wicklow Welcome Madmartigan
Nixa, MO—According to his agent, the boastful mercenary swordsman Madmartigan, has purchased a house in the Nixa community known as the Villages at Wicklow. Madmartigan plans to move into the new home with his wife Sorsha and adopted daughter Elora before years’ end. The Ozarks have been home to several famous people, however this is […]
