Anticipated Snow Melt To Boost City’s Revenues In An Unlikely Way
FairCityNews.com | Feb 11, 2011 | Comments 0
Salt truck loading up white gold
Springfield, MO – As local temperatures begin an anticipated 70 degree swing towards the positive over the next few days, Springfield City Council is planning on generating some revenues in a most unusual way….they’ll be selling off all of the surplus salt they’ve accumulated for this storm to local Chinese restaurants.
“I don’t know about you, but the Springfield Cashew Chicken Special #7 has been lacking a certain something as of late,” said Councilwoman Imogene Pearle at last nights meeting at City Hall, “and that something is Mono Sodium Glutamate, or, as I like to call it, the Salty Goodness”.
The health concerns or, quite honestly, the legality of the whole plan has been called into question by more than one concerned citizen, but this doesn’t seem to concern Councilwoman Pearle or any other council members.
“LOOK! We’re Ozarkers, and we’re resourceful! Plus we’re not too worried about silly issues like potential health concerns…that’s just big-city talk, perpetrated by, most likely, displaced Californians. We ain’t bending on our right to smoke in restaurants, so I can’t see why anyone would want to put up obstacles to more salt in our fried chicken in gravy with nuts and onions on top. It’s high time we take some initiative, and this salt sure as hell isn’t making us any money just sitting there in domes. Show me the down side!” she demanded, getting ever more agitated at being called into question over her initiative. “Dammit, all this talk is making me hungry. Let’s head to Mr. Fangs before I pass out from all this poppycock!”
We were unable to get a comment from the local Chinese Restaurant community, which seemed completely unaware that there was a problem with any of their fine cuisine.
Filed Under: Economy
