Mike the Intern

May is here. Finals are coming up, the kids are getting ready to get out of school and you are wondering why in the hell you don’t get a summer vacation like everyone else. Well you might not get a vaca but I can help you start one hell of a summer soundtrack. Bryan Adams […]

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“Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason

Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot […]

Colored Egg Rolls Highlight SGF Cashew Chicken Heritage

Springfield, MO – In an attempt to shine a light on a native cuisine, Springfield residents are coloring Easter egg rolls this month in honor of the Cashew Chicken dish created in this city. The Easter egg rolls are dyed multiple colors to resemble the more traditional Easter Egg. An Easter Egg Roll Hunt is […]


Well, I have been gone for a while but I’m back.  I have been training for the upcoming summer season.  Its that time of year in which you have to get ready for the lake or pool and you want to appear fit.  There are a number of ways to do so as we are […]

Caged People Fed By Animals

Strafford, MO – Organizers at Wild Animal Safari have announced a new tour that encourages patrons to sit in a cage and be fed by the wild animals on site. The change is in response to the USDA ruling that visitors to the park may no longer fed animals from their vehicles. “We strive to […]

KC Chimps Escape Highway Shooter

Kansas City, MO – Seven chimpanzees attempted to escape the area to avoid random shootings that have been plaguing the area for several weeks. The chimps successfully used a tree limp to escape the Kansas City Zoo, but were apprehended with food and the promise of improved security. “The chimps have a valid point. I […]

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    St. Louis Arch Adds McDonalds To Observatory

    Springfield, MO – Local McDonald’s franchisee Dom Kittles announced that his company secured the rights to place a restaurant in the top of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch and plans to open this summer. The contract came as a surprise to Kittles who considered his business as a longshot for the opportunity. “The news was great, […]

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    Snake Oil – April

    Mmmm….Snake Oil.

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    Staxx of Jelly Beans Reported at Farmer’s Market

    Springfield, MO – Children of all ages are thrilled to hear the news that Staxx of Jelly Beans are being moved to the Farmer’s Market of the Ozarks soon. Mountains of jelly beans is exactly what customers expect once the move is complete and nothing less will satisfy the anticipation. “Once I heard ‘stacks, jelly […]

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    Hurts Donut Got What You Need

    Springfield, MO – Local donut shop, Hurts, has announced a new line of baked goods: bismarcks filled with sausage and gravy. Hurts will roll out a new campaign to promote the menu item with famed beatboxer Biz Markie. A spokesperson for the donut shop said the fit was right as “Bismarcks” sound similar to “Biz […]

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    Mike the Intern

    April. Flowers are blooming, things are growing, love is in the air and it makes me sick. So while you are out hooking up with everyone before the semester ends, I am going to sit here and write out the greatest breakup songs of all time. And then go get drunk.   Prince – How […]

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    Diverging Diamond Necklace Unveiled at Justice Jewelers

    Springfield, MO – Responding to consumers’ demand, and nodding to the unique traffic solutions employed around town, a local jeweler has recently unveiled the Diverging Diamond Necklace. The necklace pays homage to the diverging diamonds found in several Ozarks intersections. “We wanted to celebrate a traffic win for our area. We were the first to […]

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    Downtown Businesses Expected to Open Secondary Shops in Farmer’s Park

    Springfield, MO – According to city code 34.356987, all downtown businesses are now required to open a second location at the new Farmer’s Park. While several businesses have complied with the new regulation others are more reluctant to make the investment. “We just feel that creating another ‘hub’ of business might actually hurt our existing […]

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    Cox South Bungee Jumping Therapy Heals with Thrills

    Springfield, MO – Results are coming back positive from an experimental therapy involving a bungee jump at a Southside hospital. Cox South has been treating patients with their Bungee Jump Health Towers installation for the past few months and has experienced impressive recovery rates. “We are always looking for new ways to treat our patients,” […]

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    Sea Salt French Fries on Display at Art Museum

    Springfield, MO – On Thursday, The Art Museum will unveil Natural-Cut Sea Salt Fries — revamped french fries of 100% russet potatoes, cut with the skin on, sprinkled with sea salt. The move comes as sea salt has set consumer hearts aflutter and invaded American mindsets. In 2010, 1,350 new products with sea salt as […]

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