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Man/wolf Hybrid Escapes Pen

The Baxter County Sheriff’s Office is alerting the public about a man/wolf hybrid mix that got out of its pen this afternoon in the area of 1934 CR 645 in the Buford area. At approximately 3:31 PM today, the Sheriff’s Office received a call from the owner of the man/wolf stating that it was no […]

Ferguson Flash Mob Dance Cancelled

Ferguson, MO – Organizers of a charitable flash mob have cancelled plans for the event which was to be held this Saturday. The group was planning to assemble suddenly in a public place near downtown Ferguson to perform an interpretive dance to “Call Me Maybe” in order to bring attention to a nearby charity. “We […]

Mike the Intern: August

Summer is coming to a close, which means school is just around the corner. So to help you out with your book, school supplies, and clothes buying blues, I have made a list of some great school songs. Enjoy. STAY FREE – THE CLASH    Mick wrote this song after reminiscing about a school mate who ended up in […]

Fantastic Sam’s Caverns Opening July 2015

Springfield, MO – After much debate, locals and tourists alike are rejoicing at the announcement/agreement that has merged two beloved pastimes – haircuts and cave tours to form Fantastic Sam’s Caverns. The new twist on the cro-magnon hipster movement is all the rage with young Springfieldians and history buffs alike. Fantastic Sam’s Caverns will offer […]

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    SnakeOil

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    First Day of School Cancelled Due to Snow

    Springfield, MO – Children across the Ozarks were thrilled to learn that the first day of school has been cancelled due to an imposing threat of snowy weather. Officials claim that the trend which extended the school year into late spring has resurfaced. “We saw a weather pattern yesterday that indicated a 2% chance of […]

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    Missourians’ Right to Breathe upheld on Tuesday

    Constitutional Amendment 86, known informally as the Right to Breathe Act, and known even more informally as “The Hot Air Bill,” passed by an undeniable majority at the polls this Tuesday. The bill—on the ballot alongside other amendments concerning gun control restrictions, factory farms, and internet privacy—upholds a god-given right that was in no way actually […]

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    Dozens of Homes Robbed During National Night Out Event

    Springfield, MO – Several families returned home after attending the National Night Out event to find that their homes had been ransacked by criminals while the homeowners were out meeting local law enforcement, fire departments and other organizations during America’s Night Out Against Crime at Meador Park. The annual event, focused on safety and crime […]

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    Dinosaur’s Fate Debated by Scientists

    Springfield, MO –Local scientists are hotly debating the recent disappearance of Dino, a green fiberglass dinosaur located on hole number six at Fun Acre Mini Golf. Originally installed in 1987, the dinosaur was a permanent fixture until last Wednesday when it vanished overnight. Researchers claim that a series of events could have caused the dinosaur […]

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    Beck Photobombs Kevin & Liz

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    Snake Oil

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    Uncle Si Cup Production Moved to SGF

    Springfield, MO – The A&E hit show Duck Dynasty has touched the Ozarks in the form of a plastic cup facility, at the site of the former Solo Cup plant on North Glenstone Ave. Duck Dynasty is an American reality television series that portrays the lives of the Robertson family, who became wealthy from their […]

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    417 Launches Social Trash Contest

    Springfield, MO – Inspired by similar recent Social Media competitions, Springfield City Council this week launched its ’417Trash’ initiative which plans to keep swarms of young people staring at their phones while collecting trash late into the night. The rules are simple: The city of Springfield, using its @417Trash Twitter account, releases a series of […]

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